April 16th, 2008


New days....

It has been almost a year since my last post and much has happened to me in this time. Many of my friends know of what has come to pass over the last year but for the rest of you...
In March of 2007, I got on a flight for New Mexico and signed up with my fathers company. He owns a Urethane Foam Roofing company and I was promised that if I came down there to work with him that eventually I would take over the company for myself. This wound up being untrue. I found out shortly after my arrival that it would be years before I was considered to be experienced enough to apply foam but I was happy to work my way there. It was only after my girlfriend came down to New Mexico with my children that I found out that there would be a change of plans.
Suddenly my father was saying that I would never own the company and that I was only good for labor. I applied elastomeric coating to his foamed roofs for just under a year and in that time I dealt with jealous coworkers trying to get me fired or demoted with stories and lies, my father did so without coming to me and seeing if any of it was true. There was untold amounts of drama and I was constantly defending myself from accusations that were next to never true. He called me a pathological liar... that still has me pissed to this day... anyway, I was eventually fired for telling him that he could go fuck himself.
You see, I went through my childhood without him and during the coarse of that time, I had heard from a rather substantial amount of people that he was a lowlife and all the reasons you can imagine why. However, I put these words aside and gave him the chance to be the father he claimed he wanted to be. What has me upset is that he couldn't show me the same respect that I showed him and that he not only disrespected me in this manner, but he did it on multiple occasions. On top of this, the whole time I was out there, he was constantly dictating to me how to live my life, trying to turn me into someone else, telling me that my fianc'ee was a useless waist, belittling my life choices and more. What's worse is that he hurt my son with an M-80 fire cracker by launching it off within five feet of his head in an improper way after being told not to by several people.
The entire ordeal was a nightmare that pushed my relationship with Jen to the brink several times. We eventually wound up moving to California and now we're here crashing at my Mom's house for the time being. I am reestablishing relationships with my siblings that have now grown up and for the first time ever, I am getting along with my mother. Not only getting along, but she and I enjoy each others company and I find myself seeking her out to have conversations with her.
There is something new... I do not know where my friends have gone to in my seven year absence and the people that I know now are not the same people that I once knew before I left. My brother has become a man and the boy that I knew has long since gone. My sister has become a major slut and now she's a single mother without a job or even a prospect of hope for the future... In fact, the only traits that I have seen in here from her childhood are the negative ones. Otherwise she has changed for the worse in every way.
There are a few people out here that I cared very much for that I have at leased learned how they are doing these days.
Steph has become addicted to crack and she got herself an unwanted child. My childhood love has married a man and popped out a few kids of her own, she is now on welfare and eating from care packages(I cannot help but wish that I would have been the man that she had chosen so that I could have made her happier but we all know that there are allot of assumptions in there). Tara has popped out some welfare babies as well and I do not know if she has a boyfriend this week.
There is an overwhelming felling that everyone has moved on and that there is nothing left for me here that comes over me. It's like being in a dessert brought about by a nuclear fallout, I recognize the places around me but I feel so alone that I may as well be the only person here. I never thought I would say this, but I feel like home is really in Minnesota. I miss my friends from Anime Detour.
  • Current Music
    Babbies snoring