August 8th, 2008



I am currently watching the opening ceremonies for the Beijing Olympics and I have had one of the most controversial epiphanies. My fianc`ees' mother is one of the most passive aggressive people I have ever known and she holds an annoyingly firm belief that hitting or spanking ones' children is never ever acceptable regardless of the situation. She has threatened to kick me and my fianc`ee out of her house and take the children after I gave my son two perfectly controlled swats on the butt after he was walking around on top of his baby brother. I have been annoyed about this for the day because this happened last night.

The situation has had me thinking about the modern laws on child abuse as well as people's position on spanking these days. I am not sure but I don't believe that spanking has been illegalities here in the United States yet but I know that with as many people out there that believe that striking one's child in ANY manner is outright wrong or even criminal that it's only a manner of time now before giving your child a stern look is outlawed.

The truth is that I do not subscribe to most people's views on a lot of issues these days but that's because I never allow anything as opinionated and unintelligent as emotion to influence my decisions. If you want to make rules then using anything less than completely factual evidence is simply foolish.

My biggest issue with modern views on child discipline is that parents are so opposed to doing it. My friends and I shouldn't feel like we're criminals when we would like to spank our kids for trying to steal some candy in the grocery store. I am so tired of everyone trying to tell me how to discipline my children. I shouldn't have to feel like someone's going to call the cops on me if I grab my son by the arm and sternly yell at him to stop hitting his baby brother. WTF! I should be able to paddle his butt for that!

Anyway, yes I feel that spanking is sometimes the best way, and occasionally the only way, to discipline my son. But that's not the point.

We live in a country that shuns violence so much that people don't know how to stop someone with a box cutter from killing everyone on a plane and then we wonder why. We shelter our children from anything on the television that's even slightly violent or offensive and then we wonder why they can't defend themselves or why they have such low self esteem.

My point is that for tens of thousands of years we have beaten the shit out of our children with sticks and broom handles for things like asking "why" and history was still able to produce people like Neapolitan, Leonardo De Vinci, Galileo, etc. and I'll bet vital parts of my anatomy that Einstein's father spanked his ass too. But here we are now thinking that we know better than our parents and our parents' parents and so on till the beginning of time. They knew shit, we know everything right? Well then Mr. and Mrs. Know-It-All, why does everyone have autism and bipolar disorder and ADHD? Why does the United states have all the fattest laziest people? Why do we have one of the highest crime rates? Why do we have all the racists, murderers and welfare fucks? Did you know that more than 90% of the world's cerial killers came from the United States? Maybe it's because of all those stupid fucking hippie parents telling us when we're kids that the world's going to end before we turn thirty. Maybe it's because as time goes by, parents are more lenient on their children so they go off and get pregnant by the age of fifteen. Maybe it's because we have competitive games like baseball or football modified to have no losers so that no one feels bad. Well, I've got news for you, taking away the spirit of competition can only lead to failure in the real world. Maybe if your parents had been harder on you you wouldn't have let your house go into foreclosure, and then we might not be in a recession.

I'm watching China put on one of the most beautiful spectacles anyone has ever seen. The choreography is astounding. There are no words to put it into perspective but I will say that what I am seeing would take us several years and countless hours of nonstop practice before we could even come close to mimicking it(let alone creating something like it). There were thousands of performers doing the most amazing things and every one of them have gotten the choreography down to the point of complete amazement. Words cannot describe the beauty that the last hour of broadcasting held. Thousands of people working in unison to create something more beautiful than anyone has ever seen before and you'll never see it again because they'll be doing something equally or even more impressive next time. But the best part is that before they achieved the biggest accomplishment of their life, I can pretty much guarantee that EVERY single one of them had the living piss beaten out of them by their parents when they were children thus giving them the discipline and focus needed for this task.

Stop thinking you know better than anyone out there because the truth is that if you are reading this, then someone else out there has already accomplished everything that you want to and some one has done everything you have ever done better than you did it. You are not special, you are not unique, you are not beautiful or smart or better than anyone. Your life is completely meaningless and you will not be remembered when you die. You do not know love, you have nothing of importance in your life and yes, you are delusional. In a few years when you're angry at my child for beating up yours and taking their money, and you're ashamed of your own(and you will be ashamed), I'll be rewarding mine with ice cream and there's not a fucking thing you can do about it accept shell out even more cash for karate classes that don't even work because society won't let your kids use it.

So in short, shut up and fuck off with your dysfunctional parenting and your opinionated judgments.

P.S. Oh yeah, Hitler was right, he was just an underachiever. You should all be burned alive until you stop wasting oxygen. Hooray for high gas prices, Yay for war in Iraq, Woot for Bush and Huzah for racism, cancer and hate crimes! That's right, I went there.
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